Treat me, others and yourself with respect and good manners and we will get on.
We might not agree all the time, have opposing opinions which might sometimes mean tension but ultimately, as long as you treat people respectfully we will be able to work effectively together. I suspect that’s the same for most people.
Now obviously people are all different in the way they express themselves, with traits and flaws; I may myself have the odd one... Sometimes the way I use humour to diffuse or break the ice may not work for everyone. I need to be aware of that. I learnt an important lesson early on about how your intention can be misunderstood. At a training event I was mortified, to learn that my enthusiastic questioning had initially been read as negative, disruptive behaviour. This was the complete opposite of reality as I was completely engaged! That moment has stuck with me as a reminder that our individual responses to the same content can be different and not always received in the way they were intended. What can be funny to one person can be demeaning to another. We need to remember this and not be so quick to judge based on our own expected reactions.
Now with that said I think there is still a line that separates an unexpected, unnecessary expression of emotion and the completely unacceptable. For example, being frustrated at a situation NEVER gives someone permission to be abusive in any form. And I think the majority of us take that as a given. The public reaction that we see to some of the terrible prejudice and injustice that is still all too prevalent in the world demonstrates that there is a general consensus on what is right and plain unacceptable.
What I want to talk about is the type of behaviour that seems to be tolerated even though it’s not really acceptable for most people. There are individuals I have worked with across the years who I am told ‘just have their way’; often people in key roles who have become critical and ‘irreplaceable’. These people may well have had their poor behaviours raised with them but without much real positive change seen by those impacted.
It's the person who thinks it’s ok to publicly embarrass people. It’s the undertone of superiority or subtle misogyny. It’s the simple bad manners and disrespect. It’s that moment in a meeting when you all wince at the way someone is being called out. It's the use of specific words or tone to intimidate to make a point.
Examples I’ve witnessed include:
- People being told to ‘go away, I don’t have time for your inane questions’
- Colleagues taking bets before a meeting on who’s turn it is for the verbal beating
- Not replying to emails from anyone not considered important enough
- Not bothering to attend meetings, sometimes not even responding to invites
- Being so much busier than everyone else that you have an excuse (for anything)
- Those people who lay down the law but are above it, leading by mis-example
I suspect you, my reader, can also call out examples.
So why do we condone poor behaviour of some in the office? Why do we say ‘I know it’s unacceptable and I’ve spoken to them and I’m monitoring it’ but there is no apparent change to their behaviour to colleagues? Are we hostage to these behaviours for the greater good? Is that ok? Where is the line?
As I noted initially, we will all have our moments and we should be forgiven (on the whole) these moments. And, of course, we should check out the potential drivers for this behaviour, there may well be an underlying cause which requires real attention and support. When, however, the behaviour is consistent, repeated, sustained over a period of time and a ‘reputation’ in place I think we’ve probably gone over the line. Sometimes I think that these are just plain bad behaviours. And we let them happen. And we say it’s not ok but still let them happen. And to others, seeing these bad behaviours apparently condoned, this is not good for morale or a healthy culture.
And what might be indicators that we are ‘allowing’ bad behaviours?
- ‘I know he never turns up to meetings but what would we do without him’
- ‘it’s just her way, she doesn’t mean it’
- ‘look, they are really busy, I’m sure they will sort it when they get time’
- ‘I know that’s the process we agreed but this is different’
- ‘They shouldn’t have done it (again) but these are exceptional times’
- ‘Just ignore it, you focus on what you have to do’
So how do we ‘fix’ this? There are some really great models and techniques for managing feedback to people and addressing these behaviours in an appropriate way. The dilemma is how do we practically, consistently and fairly ensure that people are all treated in the same way? How do we make sure we forgive the ‘moments’ but stand firm on sustained disrespectful behaviour. How do we keep our key people engaged and delivering without compromising the whole integrity of the organisation’s culture?
- We have to make it ok to call it out.
- When we hear about, and witness, bad behaviour we have to take action.
- We also need to look to ourselves and make sure we are leading by example.
If people don’t want to align with the organisation's way of working and corrupt evolving values, we should be asking if they really are an irreplaceable asset.
We shouldn’t be giving power to the bullies.
Footnote: When I first wrote this article, it was just before the Priti Patel bullying review was shared with the public. A strange coincidence but what an example.
A Safe Harbour for Work That Matters Over the past few months on the Norfolk coast, and exploring the Broads, boats have been a constant part of my view — moored, passing, gliding by. Back in Northamptonshire, there were no waves or tides, but we did have canals — another ecosystem with its own slower rhythm, narrowboats with their routines, and a way of life that seems to move at walking pace. Soon we’ll be in Scotland, close to the wide Forth estuary — tidal, busy, and full of energy. It’s a very different stretch of water to Norfolk’s quiet channels, and it’s had me thinking about how PMO also has to work differently depending on its setting. The Harbour Picture Picture a harbour at dawn. Fishing boats head out early, ferries prepare for their first passengers, yachts wait for the right wind. Each boat has a different job, a different pace, and each one is essential to the harbour’s purpose. PMO works in the same way. It runs through portfolio, programme, and project work, and each plays its part when set up for what’s needed. Together, they keep delivery moving in the right direction. The Three Ps: Portfolio, Programme, Project Think of it like the harbour: Portfolio PMO: The Harbour Master Sets direction and decides which boats head out and when. Programme PMO: The Ferries and Trawlers Keeps the routes open, brings results back to port, and makes sure the harbour stays productive. Project PMO: The Small Boats and Crew Handles the day-to-day, checks the kit, keeps the logs, navigates the details, and gets close to the action. Each one plays a role in keeping the harbour working as a whole. Making It Work A small boat doesn’t need a full crew. A ferry doesn’t need a trawler’s nets. A harbour doesn’t need a fleet pulling apart. PMO is the same. Project PMO supports delivery. Programme PMO keeps routes clear. Portfolio PMO sets direction. The value doesn’t come from one level trying to be something it’s not — but from each doing the work that matters. Avoiding the Trap Sometimes project-level PMO is dismissed as “just admin.” Sometimes every PMO is pushed to look strategic, even when that isn’t what’s needed. True PMO maturity isn’t about piling on process or having the flashiest title. It’s about purpose — providing the right support, in the right place, at the right time. A Safe Harbour for Work That Matters A good harbour doesn’t just have big ships or shiny yachts. It has the right mix of vessels, ready for the day’s work. That is what PMO is for me: a safe harbour for work that matters — where strategy is shaped, programmes flow, and projects deliver with confidence. From Canals to Coastlines As we head north to Scotland, I know the boats will catch my eye again. Whether it’s a canal, a harbour, or the open sea, the message stays the same: PMO works best when ready for the journey ahead — helping every boat play its part in work that truly matters. Because when the harbour is well run, every boat gets where it needs to go. That’s when the strategy moves forward, the programmes flow, and the projects deliver without being swamped by the tide. Wishing you safe travels in your own waterways ...and if you’re looking to steady your harbour or set a new course, let’s talk.
If governance feels like a burden, it’s probably broken. It shouldn’t be a tick-box exercise or a blocker. Good governance brings confidence, clarity and calm. It helps teams focus on what matters, surface problems early, and make better decisions. It enables delivery. It protects value. It creates space for people to do their best work, not get buried in process. It’s not about slowing things down. It’s how we make sure the right things move forward. A good PMO knows this. It’s not the enemy of delivery; it’s your best friend
We expect every project to justify itself with a business case… but when did the PMO last write one? We challenge delivery teams all the time: 💡 What’s the benefit? 💷 Is it worth the investment? 📏 How will you measure success? But the PMO? We quietly set up, get stuck in, and rarely ask the same questions of ourselves. We know we’re valuable but have we ever taken the time to explain why, in the same language we ask of others? If your PMO had to write a business case today… what would be in it?
Lately I’ve noticed a trend. More and more PMO roles are asking for specific industry knowledge. It’s made me pause and think about what organisations are really looking for. I’ve worked in higher education, financial services, insurance, the public sector, manufacturing and retail to name a few. Each sector has its quirks, but what a good PMO delivers is clarity, confidence and momentum. A good PMO brings structure, insight and the right level of control to make things happen. Not get in the way. We help people make better decisions, focus on what matters and move forward with purpose. Crucially, a strong PMO knows how to flex. We don’t apply a one-size-fits-all model. We bring expertise that can be shaped to suit culture, ways of working and appetite for risk. That’s where the real value lies. I don’t need to be an expert in your industry to make a meaningful difference. Part of the role is quickly understanding how the organisation operates. Then applying what works best. Of course, there are exceptions. But in most cases, being industry agnostic is a strength. It brings fresh thinking, challenge and a broader view. I actively seek new sectors for exactly that reason. Is this push for industry experience part of the buyer’s market we’re in? Possibly. It could also be a missed opportunity to do things differently. Are we too focused on industry experience in PMO hiring? When PMO roles ask for sector-specific experience, I get it. It can feel like a safer choice. Someone who knows the environment, the challenges, the language. But I keep wondering what we might be missing. There’s often an assumption that industry experience makes someone a safer pair of hands. That they’ll already get the systems, the acronyms, the unwritten rules. In fast-moving or complex environments, it can feel like one less thing to explain. A good PMO isn’t there to run the business. We’re here to make change happen. We bring structure, clarity and focus. We help teams prioritise. We support better decisions. We spot risks early. We connect the dots and keep delivery moving. These are skills that cut across industries. In fact, stepping into a new sector often sharpens our ability to ask better questions and notice what others may have stopped seeing. Hiring someone with the same background might feel like the obvious choice. Someone with fresh perspective and a wider lens can often help you move forward faster.
For this week I am going to share some of my own case studies. 1️⃣ The Visibility Crisis Drowning in Projects? Here’s How We Took Back Control
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On International Women’s Day, I continue to celebrate the woman who inspires me every single day: my daughter. She isn’t fearless, but she faces her fears with quiet determination. She has doubts, but she stands firm in her values. She is stronger than she realises, resolute in ways that amaze me. She’s studying film production and looks to build her future in cinematography: a field where women remain underrepresented. With her talent, determination, and unwavering passion, I have no doubt she will make her mark. She is my role model, and I couldn’t be more proud. #IWD #Inspiration #StrongWomen #FutureCinematographer
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When people hear the word GOVERNANCE in project management, it often brings to mind rigid processes and endless forms. For many organisations, governance is seen as something that satisfies audit requirements but gets in the way of delivery. But does governance really have to be that way? Absolutely not. When done right, governance becomes a crucial part of successful delivery. And both PMOs and project managers share responsibility in ensuring it works effectively without becoming a burden. Governance: A Mindset Shift Too often, I’ve seen organisations where governance is implemented only to cover audits, but with an attitude that it shouldn’t “slow down” delivery. This reflects a deeper misconception that governance is a necessary evil; something to work around. What’s needed is a shift in mindset, especially at the leadership level. This isn’t about choosing between governance and delivery. When embedded correctly, it supports delivery seamlessly, rather than hindering it.
